Monday, January 14, 2008

Thinking (While Trying to be Nice to Niki)

So it's the Chargers then. I am ambivalent about this. The Bolts present an easier opponent, I think, than the Colts, especially if it's going to be as cold as they're predicting. But, man, it would've been sweet to watch Peyton hang his overrated head amongst the snow flurries again. Yes, that would've been sweet.

As for my in-depth analysis of the Pats' game? Well, suffice it to say that Maroney is a stud, and I regret calling him inconsequential at my parents' house two weeks ago. Thank you, LoMo for making like Styx and showing me the way...The touchdown to Welker? Maybe Tom's greatest acting job since "Not a Touchdown!" As for the defense, eh, who cares really? I was concerned for about a half hour about the penalties and long plays and such, but really, who cares? They are just not going to lose and it's that simple. If the defense misses the bus to the stadium, I still have the utmost confidence in Tom and Company to just barely outscore the Chargers. So there's my prediction: Defense-less Pats: 174, Chargers, 171. In the words of Carl Wollarski, "Coach [Bellichick] just barely finds a way..."

More importantly: did anybody see or hear the Colts' fans booing this teenage girl during the Punt, Pass & Kick competition yesterday? I can't get the gist of this whole story...was she wearing a Pats jersey? Was that what this was all about? People seem pretty up in arms about it. On one level, it's kind of funny. On another, you know, parent level, it's not. But, if my daughter wanted to wear her Pats jersey (if she wasn't being foiled by all my Steelers-merch-buying-relatives) into the RCA Dome, I would definitely have her prepared to handle the boos she'd surely receive. That's a good lesson for a kid to learn. I remember the first time I wore a Sox jersey into the Toilet I was about 14 or 15, and some 400 pound idiot eating an ice cream sandwich heckled me. I turned around, looked him over, and said, "Just try to leave some ice cream for the rest of us, ok?" Brought the section down...so, it's good to have formative experiences like that. Otherwise, I'd have been upset by the guy that drove past me walking into work in my Pats jersey on Saturday who yelled, "Fuck the Patriots!" out his window. So, thanks fat Yankee fan. Good lookin' out...

As for the Colts themselves, well, you shit the bed again. Badly. But as I'm sure everyone in Cleveland is saying today, that's karma. You laid down and single-handedly changed the fortunes of two possible playoff teams when you didn't play it out versus the Titans. That's a lot more unsportsmanlike and influential than anything the Pats have been accused of. But, the Colts catch very little heat for it, because gosh darn, isn't that Tony Dungy such a nice man? And maybe he is a really nice man, when he's not using every opportunity afforded him to lecture America on its social and moral ills. But you know what? He's not a great football coach. He coddles his team, then wonders why they play soft. He makes bad decisions on the sidelines. He's had three bye weeks and lost at home in the divisional round all three times. All being a nice guy gets you in the NFL is every possible call from every ref in the league. You got your ring, Tony, now walk away. You proudly say there's more to life than coaching football. And you're right, there is. There's more to life than playing football, just as there's more to life than being a football fan. But the NFL is not the place for people who really believe that. The NFL is for people who play hard every week, and don't cheat themselves or their fans. It's certainly not for whiners and rule-changers.

As for the Chargers themselves, no strangers to my wrath and accusations of classless behavior, congratulations. You beat the Colts and the refs with your second-string, basically. I applaud your vim and vigor. I applaud your ability to somehow keep Never Norv-ous's head from exploding, as it should have. You came from behind more times than Ron Jeremy. Now bundle up, because in the words of Bill and Marty, "It's gonna be c-c-c-c-c-c-cold outside..."

Here's 4(+) things I wonder going into AFC Championship week:

1. I wonder if Shawne Merriman is going to get on stage at a pep rally again and guarantee victory...

2. I wonder if John Clayton will ever be whole emotionally after watching the twin loves of his bizarre life choke again...(don't read that if you're just eaten recently...)

3. I wonder how depressing it is for Peyton Manning that this guy is farther in the playoffs than he is...
4. I wonder what Jim Nantz and Phil Simms will do on Sunday? No undefeated old Dolphins to felate, no Peyton and Dungy to rim; jeez, are they gonna have to talk about the game? Are they gonna have to root for the Chargers? Are they gonna be completely phony and obvious about it? Is there some other obscure meaningless Phil Simms record that Tom can break? Is he gonna use complete sentences to explain his Phil-osophy? These are the questions I want answered...

Anyway, I'm also rooting for the Packers on Sunday. I haven't forgotten about Super Bowl XXXI yet, and this time, there's no one-trick pony Arch Bishop Desmond Howard to bail them out...thus begins the interminable wait till Sunday; at least we're the early game!

2 Comments:

Anonymous mattystextbuddy said...

those people were really booing a pats JERSEY .... seriously. the haters are out ... at the giants/pats game this guy was screaming that brady gets 26 or more seconds to snap the ball so they would win and go 16 _ 0...and when they took a time out he said it was so we could pay the refs off. gone is the era of being the pitied, we are now the hated ... i would exchange everything but the eye rolls when everybody thinks you are "band wagon " ...even if you grew up here...

10:15 PM  
Blogger Peter N said...

MTB is EXACTLY correct. And what a shame that was...

7:56 AM  

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