Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Three Thoughts

I just read a press release from MASN, the network that broadcasts the Orioles, and they've just hired their new announcing team: Rush Limbaugh will be joined by Michael Richards in the booth, and they're thawing out Jimmy "The Greek" Snyder to be their new sideline guy.

Ok, I just made that up. But seriously, what is the problem with the Orioles' announcers? First there was Thorne-gate. Now, ol' Slip 'n Slidin' Rick Dempsey makes a joke about domestic violence while hosting in the booth the wife of resident Oriole Ginger Kid, Jay Gibbons. The Ginger Mullet's wife was there, by the way, to talk about the charity she represents that raises money for domestic violence awareness and prevention. Nice, Rick. While I appreciate poking fun at The Red-Haired Brady Anderson's anemic batting average, it was still way out of bounds. MASN of course, to remain consistent with their irresponsible journalistic policies, has no intention of punishing Dempsey. It does say something, though, that when Gary Thorne tells a bald-faced lie regarding an on-field issue, it's national news for three days. But Rick Dempsey belittles domestic violence and it's page D24 stuff. Go figure. Either way, if you get MASN, check your facts and your sensitivities at the door.
My two cents on the number 21 Red Sox jersey issue: lots of people are saying the Sox should give the number to some young kid, or give it to Lester or something, but I think the Sox should retire it. Not to hang up with the ol' "1-4-8-27-42" pantheon, but just so nobody else ever has to be associated with Clemens. I mean, what does it say to some hot-shot prospect- "Hey, we love you so much, we're gonna give you the number of the most vilified player to ever wear the B..."? People think giving the number to someone else is a slap in Clemens' fat face. I disagree, because seriously, do you think he'd care? It'd be better for the Sox to just come out and say,
"Since ALL of our fans hate this guy, and will always associate the number 21 with deceit, lying and greed, we've decided to make sure that no one in our organization ever has to be compared with that sort of behavior, simply because they wear his old number. We've decided to retire the number 21, and we will be placing round, number 21 emblems, much like those of the celebrated retired numbers, but smaller, in every urinal throughout Fenway Park. We feel this is the best way to recognize his unique legacy within our organization."
The jarring jolt you may have felt earlier this morning was caused by the Earth ceasing to spin on its axis, as the Boston Globe printed a column from CHB that included a sentiment I actually agree with:

"Didn't we all like Alex Gonzalez and Mark Loretta a whole lot more than Julio Lugo and Dustin Pedroia?"

God help me, but I do agree. I just can't warm up to Lugo, much as I try. Maybe it's the way he unfurled the entire neck of his turtleneck undershirt during the cold start to the season, which turned the two Sox logo on the neck inside out. It just really bugged me, and made him look like a frigid little kid. Come to think of it, Pedroia was bitching about the cold, too, remember? Sissies. God help us all, though, if Rick Dempsey gets to interview Lugo when the O's are in Boston next.

Dempsey: "So, Julio, what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?"
Lugo: "Two black guys? What, is this a racist joke?"
Dempsey: "I guess it could be, I do work for MASN afterall. Gary, back to you in the booth..."
Thorne: "Thanks, Rick. Back to what I was saying to Jim Palmer earlier...everybody knows Big Papi corks his bat. Are all those homers legit? Nah. I mean, Curtis Leskanic told us that a couple years ago, everybody knows it..."


Anonymous Ernie said...

I was thinking the same thing about Clemens' number. I like the urinal idea. ha ha

10:57 AM  
Blogger FINY said...

I was thinking the same thing about Clemens number as well. Then again, even if they did offer up #21, do you really think another player is going to want to wear it?

10:48 PM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Burn #21 in a Ceremony in Fenway

10:20 AM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Gary Thorne once worked the Mets TV Booth with Tim Mc Carver:

Dumb & Dumber;

Maybe Tim's Hair Dye affected Gary's Mind.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Dice-K by Gary Thorne:

"Thanks, Rick:
Like I was just saying to Jim Palmer, Dice K wasn't really dehydrated. He was using a laxative, which made him that way. Jason Varitek told me about that;
Everybody knows that act."

8:42 AM  

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