Saturday, October 21, 2006

I'm a Big Loser

So, I apologize to the seven of you who might have been interested enough in the "Major Announcement" to keep coming back all week...you'll have to keep waiting. But rest assured, I don't have any secret info that Clemens is coming to Boston, or that Pluto's getting reinstated or that I'm quitting my job to go sell Italian wine or anything...ok? So sorry about that...I just can't discuss the major thing yet...ok, here's a completely unrelated non-secret to placate the howling masses- we've decided that Garreth Eamon will be the name of our son when he's born in early Decemberish...obviously I got outvoted on the whole Gargamel thing...maybe next time.

So everybody's sick at my house. My wife and daughter of natural causes, me of the Cardinals. Beating the Mets isn't some heroic thing; going into that series I thought the Mets would lose- the only real starter they had was 89-year-old Tom Glavine. Who knew Maine and Perez (who I've seen set fire to PNC park on a few occasions) would step up like that? But still, the Mets squandered so many chances in that whole series, they were bound to lose. And Beltran had maybe the worst big at-bat I've ever seen. Just ridiculous that your season ends with the bat on the shoulder of your best player when everyone in America, probably including McAssery, knew that the deuce was coming. Why the hell would anyone throw him a fastball in that situation? Two run lead. Nibble with the hook and if you walk in a run, go get the next guy. Jesus, if I know this, how can Beltran and Yankee Willie not know it? If I were a Mets fan, and thank God I'm not, I'd be absolutely disgusted. Hell, as a baseball fan I'm disgusted...Loading the bases and striking out looking to end a game 7 is like making out with a totally hot chick who's completely out of your league, getting all her clothes off, going in for the kill and then she says, "I'm not that kind of girl..." What a waste of time. Just go three up three down next time and let me get to bed earlier. The Mets. Whatever. They oughtta just make this World Series best of 5 or something. These two teams combined in their last 50 games were like 40 and 60 or something. Make it best of five, or don't capitalize "world series" on any logo, shirt, graphic, etc. I thought I was gonna watch it if it was Tigers-Mets, but the Cardinals to me are about the most boring team ever. EVER. Please, Detroit- just sweep. Take the Pats at Buffalo, give the 5.5 and let's get on with our lives. It'll be February soon enough. Besides, I don't need Joe Buck in my life that bad...

I'll be back tomorrow, and I hopefully won't be so cranky...

1 Comments:

Anonymous Muse said...

you make me laugh...

10:34 PM  

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