Monday, July 31, 2006

Groundhog Day

I finally saw a v. 2006 Papi WALK OFF (all caps now because it is his and only his- whenever anyone else does it, it's just walk off)...fucking great. Like I said earlier, somebody needed to step up and take Wells off the hook. I wasn't there in '67, but did Yaz even carry the Dream like this? And like I said the other day, I'm running out of words. Any one have any better way to describe it? He is not of this world, my friends. He is special.

Lost in the excitement was this: we should throw our caps in the air all WALK OFF style for Kyle Snyder who pitched 4.1 innings of scoreless, one-hit ball with 6 K's. He deserves a lot of credit, too, for slamming the door and saving the 'pen. A well-deserved W for him.

An amazing way to get around the more-than-predictable clunker turned in by Yankee Dave; hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Stay cool, it's supposed to be 110 here on Tuesday with the dreaded heat index. That heat index is a real bitch, yo.

Rehab is (apparently) for Losers

Guess tonight was that extra rehab start nobody thought Wells needed? Dickheads, one and all, Theo, Tito, Fat Fuck Wells...

And to all of you who were so anxiously awaiting Not-So-Wells' return, do me a favor and don't act tomorrow like you knew it was a bad idea, his coming back. Don't pretend you called this one, like I did. You know who you are...I hope you're happy...

As for the Abreu thing, it's terrible for the Sox. Here's a really talented guy, who for better or worse, shut it off because he is a surly, selfish prick on a losing team. Don't think he's not gonna go off offensively w/ the Yunks. I'm picturing a Corey Dillon type situation here. Not comparing the Yunks to the Pats, just saying changes of scenery work wonders for someone that talented. And I think we'd all agree we'd rather have Lidle than Wells right now.

As for us not doing anything, well, I think most of you know how I feel about Theo by now...

I hope someone steps up in the next couple innings and takes Fat Fuck off the hook. We need wins. I don't like being tied for first.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

The Good, The Messy and The Joe Morgan

Wish I could've seen that game yesterday...I think I've missed all 4 of Papi's walk off hits this year...must be's getting damn near impossible to come up with new and creative ways to describe what he means to the Sox, or to describe his amazing sense of drama, clutchness, etc. He's just freaking amazing...never seen anyone like him in my lifetime.

At least tonight's game is on The Uno...except for the Joe Morgan factor...I might try seeing if MLB radio's feed is in sync with the TV and then I can listen to Joe C. and Trupi. My Wife already knows where I'll be tonight. Like I said the other day, I feel like I've missed half the season, then I realize I basically have. Tough to be a die hard follower with job, kid(s) and wife.

Sometimes I think you single folks have it made. But you miss out on what I get to see every day, like My Daughter picking sprinkles off a doughnut one by one and then getting mad when they stick to her hand. Right now her face is covered in chocolate frosting, and mac 'n cheese. Disgusting, but so cute. (Just sounded like Amy from Red Sox Batgirl there for a

We're on our way to the pool...have a great Sunday everybody and enjoy the game tonight...I'll be online during it I'm sure, so drop me a line and we can talk shit about Joe "I know everything because I played the game the right way and I have no respect for anybody that wasn't on the '75 Reds" Morgan.

Finally I Catch Up

As promised, here are my lousy pictures from the Street Dogs show last Thursday at the Black Cat....

This is Marcus Hollar, the lead guitarist, sporting my green 2 Sox cap that I lent him as they launched into "Back to the World."

Here's a nice shot of Mike McColgan, lead singer, foot on the monitor, getting into the crowd...a classic Mike stance...

And this is super blurry (like most of my camera phone pics are)...but I actually kind of like the action effect. I think this was Mike singing "Drink Tonight."

Finally, a really crappy, too dark and grainy shot of Mike and I by the bar after their set...a pretty natural place to find us, I think...note that I've gotten my cap back from Marcus at this point...

Anyway, an awesome evening...unfortunately, there's no picture of Mike and I on stage singing "Borstal Breakout" together, which I'd kill to have, but oh well. I'll blame my friend Rita for not knowing how to use her camera phone. As I've said before, if you haven't checked out the Street Dogs, you totally should. Just a great straight ahead, heartfelt, honest, sincere punk rock band. And nice guys to boot...

Friday, July 28, 2006

In Defense of Dorchester

If you haven't seen the Street Dogs, from Boston, then TJ, you. They were here in DC last night at the Black Cat, with the freakin' old Adolescents. Yes, they played "Amoeba" but besides that, they weren't as good as they were last summer. However, the Dogs were blazing last night. We were right on Marcus' (guitar) monitor the whole set, I lent him my green Red Sox hat and he put it on for "Back to the World," and the best moment? Getting up on stage to sing part of "Borstal Breakout" with Mike McColgan. They cover that old Sham 69 song, changing the chorus to "Gonna be a Boston Breakout," and always close with it...awesome. They also did a great Bad Brains cover of "Rise Above," which of course DC loved. A great set, but too short, 13 songs in all. Mike said when they come back around in the fall with the Bouncing Souls, they should be playing a longer set. Showed Mike a picture of My Wife and Kid, since he met her two years ago when she was pregnant. Got some great pics with my phone and will post them as soon as I figure out how to upload them from phone to computer. Angels in Boston tonight- we need to start pushing this lead back up again...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I Can't Hardly Wait

Oh boy.

Anyone who looks forward to the return of David Wells probably also enjoys ordering old fish in restaurants, making a point of not getting their oil changed, assuming high-speed drivers will stop just because you're a pedestrian and deserve the right of way and telling your girlfriend that she does look fat in those pants...I'm dreading the return of Forever Yankee Wells...his fat ass needs to retire and Red Sox fans need to stop anticipating his return like it's the second coming of the original Becky. I hate that we ever signed him. Talk about someone with no business ever being a Red Sox player. Any one who is looking forward to Wells' return, please look me straight in the face when you tell me how excited you are; that way, I have a nice big target to punch.

Like I Said

So about half of what I predicted tonight came true...and about half of what Jere predicted had already's been a long evening, 1:33am here in the ol' EST...We've survived MDC being shaky, Tavarez, and now, hopefully, Kerosene Rudy. We've blogged, I've drunk beer, there's one out...

This has been great...been awhile since I've seen a game basically start to finish...2 outs now...I need some sleep...Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Seems like days ago that My Wife and I finished watching "Beautiful Girls" and she went to bed...and now I do the same...

This Band plays Rhode Island Nightclubs...

Part of me still thinks Tavarez will blow a 12-5 that wrong? Am I "19 times bitten, twice shy," baby?

Been Here...

2004 WS, Game 4

And he walks...

And Tek-$ clears 'em with a double and a nifty slide by, you guessed it...Trot! 10-5. My beer tastes a lot better now...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Can't Blame the Douche...

I guess the umpire had Cerebal Halsey...or at least the A's do now in the 8th...TJ by the HP ump...I'm not complaining, but seriously, the A's just got hosed...just being fair, ya know?

Do They Know This Counts?

6-5 now, Delcarmen is sucking, the A's are coming back, Tavarez is warming, and I'm about to throw up in my mouth...Schill is gonna get the ol' ND...I can feel it...


The Aflac triv q tonight on the A's telecast is something like this: Curt Schilling last pitched in Oakland in 1990; only one other player besides Curt that was on either team's roster for that game is still playing. Who is it?

It's Steve Finley. Thanks to Retrosheet (god bless it)...the game was Tuesday, Aug. 9, 1990, the O's v. the A's; the A's won 5-2 and Schill pitched 1.1 innings of relief, no hits/no runs, one walk, 3 k's. Finley played right field. Once again proving why Retrosheet is invaluable. 5-1 Sox, and Lowell has double number 35, tying him for first in the league. Everybody I mention is coming up big tonight...

The Leader of the Funky Bunch

I rail on Theo a lot, because I think he gets a disproportionate amount of the credit for '04, and not enough of the blame for '03, but sweet job w/ Loretta and having the courage to take on Lowell's big contract...nice hit 'n run from Loretta and Youk...still kinda weird to see the Sox do Theo, good job with those two guys, and TJ, Ortiz for that pop-up...

I Published Too Soon

3-1...Manny goes postal...and here's, does he need a basehit. Holy shit, Trot goes DEEEEEPPPP....what a call...

***EDIT*** I didn't get the game on till the 2nd, didn't realize that Trot had already driven in the 2nd run, but I still say he needed a basehit, and still say I'm a friggin' genius for calling it...all hail the Red t-shirt...

You Won't Have 'Ol Trot to Kick Around...

The more the rumors start to circulate that Trot will be gone by Monday, the sadder I get. As I sit here in my trusty red Trot player t-shirt, I think about how he's been my favorite player practically since he came to the team. Blue-collar to the bone, dirty, hurt, clutch, up and down, all terms that describe him. And when I watch us play Oak-town, all I can think of is Game 3 in '03, that Carbo-esque drive to dead center to set off the jumping bomb at the Fens, and how I rampaged around my living room, falling to the floor finally, screaming, "I can't believe it!" It was the new Hendu moment, and I relished it. And I know we won't resign him at the end of this year, but I'm not ready for him to go just yet. I have this feeling he's got a couple more big hits left in him. Still 2-1 in the 3rd...

MLB.TV Is Weird

If anyone else has MLB.TV, you'll understand this. I'm getting one of the games which comes w/ none of the normal graphics that you normally see. No little diamond w/ the runners on base/count/outs, etc. No end of inning line score and who's up next. It happens sometimes with MLB.TV and I don't get it. It's bad enough I don't get to see NESN all the time, and it's bad enough that I don't get to see the local commercials, but no graphics is ridiculous. Although it does make you pay closer attention cause you can't just be lazy and rely on the graphics to keep you up to date. 2-1 Sox after one...

Monday, July 24, 2006


This is supported in no way by any sort of factual evidence because, as is the theme of this post, I'm too lazy to do any research, but it seems like the Sox play like crap in Seattle. I'll leave it to Jere to come up with the splits on this, but man, when we go there we just seem to play grungey. Ha ha ha. Seattle is such a cool town, but it's super laid-back and who knows, maybe that rubs off on the players when they go there. And one of the great ironies I've ever discovered is that for all the coffee they drink out there (and that's not a rumor or a joke, coffee is religion in Seattle), those people are wicked polite, and they drive slow, and no one seems in a hurry. Weird. Putz pitched like one, and them Timlin out-putzed him with a meatball to not so Sex(y)on. Lousy.

Not that I saw any more of it than just highlights, as we spent the 5 and 6 o'clock hours at my company picnic. Or as we call it, "The Owner vs. the Park Police, Vol. 3." We keep having our picnic at the same Virginia park, which is, of course, supposed to be alcohol-free. Four restaurants worth of employees on their day off in an alcohol-free space. Not gonna work, right? Last year, one of the owners nearly got arrested by the park Police for "allowing your staff to drink." Every year we tell everyone "no booze" and every year the staff gets more creative. I just brought my Red Sox coozie to slip over my icey cold Budweiser. Hey baseball fans, grab an ice cold Budweiser. It's game time. All in all, a good time was had. The Kid has finally conquered her fear of swings and slides, which makes any park more fun that it used to be. Except getting her out of the swing. Like getting her out of the pool, it is guaranteed to make her scream. And My Wife got two hot dogs, which made her happy. She likes hot dogs only at cook-outs and ball games. It's the only reason she'll even go to a baseball game, I think. Then we went to the Dairy Queen. Sundays rock.

With the Sox on the Less Coast, I may be able to catch some ball after work. We'll see. I feel like I'm on a streak where I've barely seem them at all. And somehow I'm okay with that, sort of. Some times it's just easier to read the box score and see the high(low)lights. Less stressful that way, but also less fun.

Alright, I just did some half assed research and since the start of the 2000 season, the Sox are 12-17 in Seattle. Best as I can tell, we haven't won a series there since 2000. So there. Grungey, indeed.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Twins...And a Boy, Too

So, 2 straight 1-0 wins; very nice. I didn't think Beckett had it in him. I know it's just the Royals, though; I've lowered my panic status to Def-Con 3, from 4 over the weekend. It'll take beating good teams consistently, and not just the National League, or teams that play like they should be in the NL, to lower the threat level even further. We shall see. Of course the flip side, which I'm always prone to view, is that we only scored two runs against the Royals in 16 our halfs. Not great.

And we'll be expecting a boy come December when Offspring v2.0 is "released." (Neat ref since the Offspring have become Garbage.) Just found out yesterday. So unless the tech was wrong, boy it shall be. Names that have already been dismissed: Theodore Williams Fanning, Denton True Fanning and Thomas Brady Fanning (or anything involving Brady, really). Names still simmering with a chance (thanks to my crack[smoking] wait staff): Skeletor Fanning, and the irrepressible Gargamel Fanning. Any one who would care to chime in, feel free. We need all the help we can get.

In a weird bit of Jere-related trivia, Roger won his 343 career game tonight to move into 9th place all time, displacing none other than Tim Keefe, he of the 342 career wins and one unforgettable spot in Jere's comments section as my suggestion of someone who compared to Papelbon's ERA studliness. We never really found anyone better, or just gave up on it. I wonder if Tim Keefe would feel, like Frank Robinson, that it's a shame that today's bigger, stronger, "enhanced athletes" are pushing the "one's who played the game right" out of the spotlight. Because, you know, the name Tim Keefe just rushes to your mind whenever you watch baseball. It should. In 1883 he pitched 619 innings while compiling a 41-27 record in 68 starts, with 68 complete games and an ERA of 2.41. Then again, he was pitching for the New York Metropolitans, so you know, F that guy.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Fuck 'em All

Fuck Mike Reilly, Fuck Jorge Posada, Fuck JJ Putz, fuck em all. The most predictable blown save in the history of the world. Amazing how George keeps making this look almost realistic. It's fucking ridiculous.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

My Final Word on "Tessie"

This all started as a debate on Jere's blog (it's all in the comments area), and what follows is a comment I was about to leave, and then realized it would be a better post on my blog, than a comment on Jere's. Actually, this didn't even start as a debate, but as a simple question, "What's Kay Hanley's connection to the Sox besides showing up at Theo's shindig?" It then evolved into a debate on the song, "Tessie," and then further spiraled into a debate on ethics and commercialism. Here's the last I'll say about it.

Not getting to Fenway nearly as often as most of the others in this forum, "Tessie" pulls no emotional strings for me. Sure, after reading "Red Sox Century" and learning the history of the song and its connection to the Rooters and the WS win over the Pirates, I was excited to learn that DKM was recording a version of it. And I ran out and bought the single. And played it. And puked. I wasn't analyzing it on it's connection to the Red Sox, I was analyzing it within the confines of who the Murphys are/were. If they'd taken the original and sped it up and done it in their style, made it a punk song, well, that might've been cool. But I think it was so obviously done the way it was for no other reason than to garner mass appeal. I think they are savvy enough to know that anytime you attach yourself to the Sox (and yes, they are die-hard fans, although most are bigger Bruins fans) the financial windfall from that is potentially enormous. How many glass companies operate in New England? And how many Red Sox fans call Giant Glass when their car window gets busted? See where I'm going with this? It was crass commercialism. It wasn't some track 11 on some random CD that some punky Red Sox intern discovered and said to Dr. Charles, "Hey, this would be cool to play at Fenway when we win!" It was created solely for the purpose of making money (under the guise of, "Well it helped in 1903, let's try it again.") Anybody who's read my blog from the beginning knows how cynical I've become regarding DKM. They used to be one of my favorite bands, and then they lost me, mostly because of a change in the basic style of their music from a raging 4-piece SLF-type punk band, to a watered-down Pogues-wannabe styled pub band. My dislike of "Tessie" starts with the fact that it's a lousy song period, it's an even worse DKM song, and the whole project just reeks of the idea that's it better to sell one bad single to millions of Red Sox fans, than one good single to thousands of Murphys fans. That is a compromise I'm not willing to support. For those of you who like the song for the song, or because you hear it at Fenway when we win, I say, cool, keep enjoying it. But if you're old school with the Murphys, and "Tessie" doesn't turn you off or sour you on the band at least a little, well I'm not going to question your ethical vision, but I may not look at you the same. So maybe that's a TJ on me, but that's just Matty being Matty.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Mighty Mighty...Q-Tones!

Referencing one of my all time favorite bands (RIP), and because MQ's photos of the ring inspired me, this post is just a little something to tide me over till I have the energy to really write. If you haven't seen his photos of him and the WS ring, by all means, click here to see as much pure joy on a grown man's face as you'll ever see when he's wearing clothes. So anyway, it got me thinking about my one brief brush with Red Sox glory- the Trophy. Which I got to see and touch at a bar in DC called Stetson's, which unbeknownst to me is owned by someone who knows someone who is related to someone who was owed a favor by someone, you get the idea, who was connected to the Sox. And also, apparently, they show the Sox there alot, too. I've only been a couple of times because knownst to me is the fact that the neighborhood is shady and the beer is generally flat. Blah blah, in November '04, I got a tip from a friend that the Trophy would be there, and it was, and it looked like the above. I hadn't looked at that picture in a long time, but there it is, and you know what? Looking at it helps me (sort of) get over 19 inning losses and Tavarez related calamities, and even the Haley's Comet that is a Loretta 2-run error. So, yeah, Jere, it was an inexcusable loss, and maybe, just for tonight, I'm feeling soft, but look at that picture (and I'm sure you all have something similar, and I'd love to see them) and somehow, you know it will be ok. Sure, I'd love nothing more than to have the same picture as above but with 2006 on the sleeve of my fleece, but really, I won't remember that Tavarez blew a game tonight. But I'll always remember that flat beer, that crowded bar, that hunk of gold metal and that photo. That said, fuck you Julian.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

If You Like My Writing, This Has Been a Long Two Weeks For You

For those of you who haven't given up on me due to my prolonged absence from the world of SBF, I say thank you. For those of you who have, well fuck you, cause, you know, you're not reading this anyway. Because you gave up on me.

Anywhichwayhoo, I promise that I'll be up and running this weekend. I've been hella(Cartman, it's not working) busy, and pretty depressed as well, what with the release delays for "Snakes on a Plane," around which I only structured my entire summer. So, thanks a pantload Samuel L.

There's so much I've missed, and so much I want to talk about. I will say, good for Zidane, I would've punched that guy right in the face for what he supposedly said, good for Manny for playing 19 innings for us and then taking a break on everyone else's time, bad for Tito for making poor JV catch all 19 of those innings, shame on the guy who stole the letter/photo from Professor Thom's (good luck with that, MQ), DMB, Finy? Really? and thanks to all of you out there whose dilligent blogging puts smiles on my face and shames me into this apology. ***Matty here, and this post was stupid; I should have written about something substantial instead of whatever that was. TJ, me. At least I ripped off two different people's styles in one ultra-quick-tongue-in-cheek-semi-ironic-in-a-post-modern-sort-of-way-fell-swoop. There, I did it again, but none of you know that guy. TJ, you.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

It's 10:06PM...Do You Know Where Your Apocalypse Is?

I just saw Bronson Arroyo and some unnamed sax player doing an Oasis cover on one of the riverbanks in P-Burgh. Obviously this signals the end of the world...duh. So, it's been nice. Goodbye cruel, Oasis-cover-filled world. Let the bombs fall where they may.

Monday, July 10, 2006

And the answer is...

True Sox of Losing. Saturday it was them, yesterday it was us. 19 innings and I saw not a one. And glad for that.

Saturday, July 08, 2006


Figure out how that title relates to the Chi-Sox, and win, well, nothing, but take a shot at it. Beckett kept trying to give it away, but timely hitting and solid bullpenning pulled us through.
Actually got to watch a little bit of it, too, for a change.

Enjoy your weekend, root for Italy (because seriously, how can you root for France?) and I'll be back on Monday.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

The New Next Ex-President

Let's dig this game out of its murky grave...

I can't believe nobody jumped on this yet...

To paraphrase, "Although an honest and honorable man...was one of the most unfortunate of [pitchers]."

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

What the World Needs Now is Another Fifth Starter

With my apologies to Cracker, and to RSN on behalf of Tito and Theo for throwing that cracker, Jason Johnson, onto our team and onto the hill. I have no internet for nearly a week (and counting) at home, and we get swept by the Devil Rays. Just caught the highlights on Baseball Tonight, and saw Carl Crawford steal home. Honestly, you're a right-handed pitcher and you can't hold a runner at third base??? No, this isn't going to work. In this pitching-starved state of ball we live in, when a guy is 3-8 and designated for assignment by a team that doesn't exactly have a deep staff to begin with, well, say it, Jere: Eh, no Theo.

And I missed apparently the game of the friggin' tournament between the former Axis allies, Germany and Italy. But, we finally have tv again at home, thanks to the good crooks at Comcast. And the house is basically unpacked, and we'll have phone and internet on the 14th. So, Jere, I sort of feel your pain. In this day and age, NESN is not too much to ask for. And neither is a telephone, if you're willing to wait two weeks. A small trade-off, I suppose, for not having to wait in line for bread and potable water.

Just finishing Tim Pat Coogan's "The IRA" for the second time. I like to read it in public, because you get some funny looks from people. Kind of shows you what a difference the time and place into which you were born makes. A great, necessary read for anyone of Irish heritage or interest, and the ultimate example of a perfect cause derailed by imperfect action.

Since I'm just babbling now, I'll wrap it up. Been trying to keep up w/ everyone else's blogs while on limited computer availability. If you stop by to read this, leave a comment and let me know you're well. It's only been a month, but I kind of miss you guys when you're not there at my fingertips.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Cut a Tree...Get DirectTV!!!

We have a balcony now, as I've mentioned, and it is gloriously shaded by several tallll trees. Bucolic? Yes. They suck. DirectTV Man out today to hook up the dish, thereby allowing me to pump the digital syringe of Sunday Ticket straight into my vein, fixing my Pats fix come fall. But no can do says the dish guy. The trees are preventing proper reception. So, basically, if you find yourself short of breathable oxygen, it may be because I chopped down a very tall, very old tree that was contributing, as God intended, to the over-hyped "cycle of life," just so I can watch my man-crush TB#12 do what God intended him to do: be the greatest quarterback in the NFL.

And, won't have computer access till Wednesday, so enjoy your Fourth everyone. And remember, fireworks scars last a lifetime. But so do the memories, so you choose.