Tuesday, June 13, 2006

What if I was Peter Gammons?

*Sources inside my own family have made it clear that, despite their dyed-in-the-wool allegiance to the winners of Super Bowl XL , they do believe that Big Ben is a complete "ass-hat stupid fuck."

*An unnamed living room source reported that, on Monday between 11:55am-approx. 1:30pm, the USA soccer team did more to embarass America than Dubya during the same period of time.

*
The same source as above also noted that, in no other sport besides soccer, would you hear the following exchange between two commentators:

JP Delacamera: "Dida shoots it up the wing to Cafu, OVER TO KAKA!, flicks back to Cafu, over to Emerson, BACK TO KAKA, flicks on to Cafu, who turns it over." (Kaka is realllly good- that's why he's shouting.)

John Harkes: "Man, did the United States STINK yesterday." (They reallllyyy stunk- that's why he's shouting.)

(Incidentally, you will also never see a section of Fenway glowing with the light of LIT FLARES being waved about by over-excited fans, as was spotted in the Croatian supporters section during today's Brazil-Croatia match.)

*Maybe it's just me, but is Meredith Baxter Birney in every single movie on Lifetime?

*Pauley has been sent down to Pawtucket, Foulke to the DL, the ex-pres Van Buren back up, and Timlin Nugent is back in the 'pen. Sources say they'd still like to see Schill go eight innings tonight against the Inter-Continental Champion Tito "Johan" Santana.

*Finally, after watching seven complete and one partial soccer game over the last three days, it's back to baseball tonight, so enjoy the game and Go Sox!

2 Comments:

Anonymous Muse said...

While I acknowledge he's an idiot for not wearing a helmet and driving his bike with an expired license, I did not call him a complete asshat stupid fuck - that term is reserved for members of the Baltimore Ravens... oh how I hate the Ravens...

7:27 PM  
Blogger Peter N said...

And what a game we saw. Sheer brilliance from Santana, much like Carlos on the guitat. And Schill. Ya gotta want to hug him!!!

9:27 AM  

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